The Miller, Borough

This  Beezer of a lounge in The Borough looks to have been done out by The Bash Street Kids - yes, I know they belong in the Beano, you pub quiz anorak! But it's all the work of the gang behind  Bethnal Green's wonderful Sebright Arms. The sort of pub that makes me regret living among the mustard corduroy jeans and ribbed red socks with Lobbs loafers classes of K&C, The Sebright is one I'll happily cross town for. The same goes for its equally interesting attitude-free wee sister, a top gaff that's a whole mind-set away from the expensive corporate slick suit-magnets at its near neighbour, The Shard. You’ll find craft beers, artisan perry and ciders and lots of pocket-friendly vino,  and scran courtesy of Jun Tanaka’s Street Kitchen, purveyors of pimped-up provenance-assured gourmet/ gourmand hot dogs such as Boston hound and American pit-bull, its bite as good as its bark. Don't dig dogs? There's wings an' ting. Live music from emerging talent is a regular draw upstairs, and - budding Brandon Flowers nota bene - there’s even a rehearsal studio in the basement. Rockaoke-style singalongs, indie dance DJ sets, comedy nights, theatre, and ping pong are further reason to make for The Miller if you reckon Bermondsey Street is a bit up itself these days.

96 Snowsfields SE1 3SS 7560 6640 http://www.themiller.co.uk 

Original SEBRIGHT ARMS review here: http://tinyurl.com/nbs5cje

Adapted from my review at www.squaremeal.co.uk

LONDON 2012: GOLD BARS

BAR OF THE YEAR:
QuiQuiRiQui http://tinyurl.com/8g4vbpm
London does this kind of bar best (and yes, I know one of its owners is Scandinavian). Fabulous freaks in a stripped-back, trippy Tarantino-esque Mexican porno basement beneath a kebab shop; Tom Jones on the jukebox; messy early morning mash-ups on rare weapon of mass destruction grade super-premium mezcal =  no hangover? Bring it on!

Favourite new uptown girl: 
The Luggage Room http://tinyurl.com/cg9nfxo
You'll need the cash equivalent of a pile of LVs (as in Luncheon Vouchers; ask your granny) to get steaming at this luxury LV (Louis Vuitton) walk-in steamer trunk: quality never comes cheap.

The trend that refuses to die: 
Speakeasies.
But these clandestine cuties are more than forgiven
Evans and Peel: http://tinyurl.com/auj63pm  Underdog: http://tinyurl.com/b3pur7m  Flat P: http://tinyurl.com/cy8uwzo

Dishiest Dalston dive: 
Ruby (don't take your love to town) http://tinyurl.com/ajcubkd

Biggest anti-climax: 

Opium (should have guessed: never liked Yves' perfume much either) http://tinyurl.com/ce2srmq

Hugest erection of the year: 
The Heron Tower, home to Sushisamba and its 'OMG!' (said the gobsmacky girl standing next to me) views of Lilliputian London below http://tinyurl.com/8ecefy5

Worst-dressed crowd of the year: 
Loadsamoney lads are not-so-City-slickers after ten too many 'tails. Yep, it's Sushisamba again.

The if-it's-good-enough-for-Michael-Fassbinder pub of the year award:

The Sebright Arms http://tinyurl.com/agwadbn

Gay shame of the year: 
Blitz http://tinyurl.com/anxn2oy

Wow... or wank? Decide for yourself: 
And Co http://tinyurl.com/9phzbjm

Most unlikely (anthropological) fun night out:
Bodo's Schloss http://tinyurl.com/a8y8wek

Most memorable cocktail:
If I liked it, I ordered ten - ergo, I can't remember it...or anything, come to that, until the ambulance showed up. Pretty much everything on the Gorgeous boys' menu at St James floated my boat. This much, I do remember. http://tinyurl.com/ac23j23

Most asked question of the year:
 'What's your favourite bar?' If I really must spend my own money, let it be at
Happiness Forgets  http://tinyurl.com/ak37xfs

Enough already: 
cocktails and burger/hotdog joint overkill; faffy molecular mixology; bubble tea; scotch eggs; door whores with more attitude than at Studio 54'- despite standing guard over a not-all-that Soho sweat-BOX; pop-ups - all pooped out now; charcuterie share platters; palate-cleanser flavoured water; cocktail lists that are a longer read than Doctor Zhivago; elderflower anything; who-cares Foursquare; edible gold flake; shampagne cocktails: prosecco ain't Pommery;  Aperol spritz; Hendrick's gin; twee, tweedy Chap Olympiad types; pork scratchings -  the ultimate dental damn!

Sebright Arms, Bethnal Green

Once attached to a Victorian music hall, more recently left abandoned and boarded up, this typical East End inn faced the same fate as so many pubs: oblivion. Despite a petition raised by local residents, it looked set to become another victim of the fatal combination of greedy pubcos, swingeing taxes, Labour's smoking ban, ridiculously cheap loss-leader supermarket alcohol and Simon Cowell’s Saturday opium for the masses that has decimated our stock of boozers. Cue the savvy inn-trepreneurs behind the Horse Bar, Waterloo: riding to the rescue, they've saved the Sebright from Demolition Man, reinventing it as somewhere quite special to boot. Its lovely tiled and wood panelled saloons may be unchanged since Cockney sparra Babs Windsor last had her nappy changed, but the crowd is decidedly ‘now’: Bethnal bushy-beards and Lauren Laverne-alikes soundtracked by name-to-drop DJs - Mark from Rae & Christian good enough for ya? Less up-its-own-harris than hip Shoxditch gaffs, friendly, button-cute staff pull pukka pints from London microbrewers Sambrook’s, Brodie’s, Meantime, Redemption et al and wines start at recessionista-friendly prices. Old school fun runs to jumble sales, stand-up comedians, a ‘working mens club’ complete with meat raffle (how very Hilda Ogden!) and live gigs in the basement. Top scran is currently provided by peripatetic burger barons, Lucky Chip, whose decadent patties are meaty magnificence. Talking of meat magnificent, current Hollywood hottie via Michael Fassbender is in the house tonight. 'Shame he's fully clothed,' reckons my date. Worth crossing town for, even in tonight's snowy blizzard, I'm miffed this ain’t my local. As for the Sebright's local locals, a manager tells me they're not overly thrilled about the noise emanating from their newly buzzing, rescued local. Start another petition?

31-35 Coate St E2 7729 0937www.sebrightarms.co.uk