The Churchill Bar, Marylebone

"I'm afraid the bar is closed for a private party tonight" says flunky guarding its doors. "Good! I'm at the right place, then. Now find me a seat, please," I say, pushing past the nose he's just looked down. Maybe my whistle doesn't cut the mustard (serves me right for even thinking about Zara's sale rail) but if I could afford Savile Row tailoring, The Churchhill Hotel wouldn't be my first choice - or even tenth choice - when it comes to blowing a wad on wasabi sake-tinis (assuming its bar can run to one). Tonight, I join bona fide members of the Churchill dynasty, here to reccie its lavish refurb - chic minky taupe low-key luxe - and to greet their most famous relative, newly appeared on the bar's smoking terrace - a windswept affair, open onto Portman Square so passing sans culottes can see how the other half lives.  A dubious life-size bronze of Winston, parked up at a table, depicts the ex-PM indulging in his favourite pastimes - planning how to stick it up Herr Hitler's jackbooted jacksie, drinking like a fish, and smoking Hunters and Frankau Cuban cigars that cost more than a conscript on a Normandy beach would have earned in a week (had he not been riddled with bullets two minutes after disembarking). Yes, he died so you could  enjoy a Romeo Y Julieta Short Churchill (£18.50) with your Glenfarclas 1995 (£45) or cocktails from £12 at this 5 star Hyatt. Try Trafalgar Sour (Colonel Fox’s London dry gin, pear and greengage liqueurs with apple and lemon) or Ale Flip, a 17th Century revenant that combines cream, chestnut paste, spiced rum and goose egg to interesting effect. A rum and Calvados milky mix, meanwhile, is named after 1940s French film star Jean Gabin, the sort of stylish chap,I imagine, that would have felt more at home at Claridges - my destination after I load up here on free smoked salmon and cream cheese balls here and make sniffy door whore organise transport.

Hyatt Regency London - The Churchill, 30 Portman Square W1H 7BH 7486 1255 www.london.churchill.hyatt.co.uk 

St James Bar, St. James's

£17 for a Belvedere Bloody Mary sounds expensive. When I add that it comes with charcuterie, roast chicken dinner and pudding as part of a fantastic Sunday lunch deal at The Balcon; form an orderly queue!  Having saved yourself a packet, splurge it immediately at the brasserie’s elegant sister bar, St James. Gallic swoons, dressed as if by The Kooples for the new film version of de Maupassant’s Bel Ami, deliver killer cocktails with a sexy French accent. Evocative titles I could not have bettered had i chose them myself, include Pépé le Moko - a nod to Jean Gabin's character in the 1930's gangster caper of that ilk. Built on Ardbeg malt and Eldorado aged rum, it's a smoking gun for hire at £13.50. Yes, that’s almost what lunch just cost, but trust me, you want it!. A tequila and Aperol vision - decorous and flawless - befits its inspiration, Kiki de Montparnasse - Man Ray’s muse, the toast of sybaritic 1920’s  Paris. Recalling that same pre-War joie de vivre, exotic fancies Miss Mistinguett, Topaze (after Marcel Pagnol) and Petite Tonkinoise (after Josephine Baker) are reason for repeat visits, but limit yourself to two: these bébés are lethal. The bijou lounge is a play on Coco Chanel’s Rue Cambon salon. Taking against one cocktail, I’m told Chanel insisted its name, Mademoiselle Cinq, be changed. It was... to 1921, the year No5 was launched. Based on some historians' claims about the designer's political sympathies, would ‘Nazi Poodle’ or 'Miss Swastika' have been de trop?

Sofitel St James, 6 Waterloo Place SW1 7968 2900 www.sofitelstjames.com