Parliamentary Waffle House, Soho

Still can’t decide whether to vote for the Monster Raving Loony candidate or some other chancer who will subsequently stiff you for moat cleaning or their spouse’s dirty video habit? Then, check out the Parliamentary Waffle House. Conceived by Bompas & Parr, the bar-land equivalent of Banksy, this amusing pop-up will remain open until Election Night. Aiming to predict the outcome of the tightest contest for decades, a Jon Snow-style ‘swingometer’ reflects the nation’s mercurial mood based on how punters order at the bar where everything comes in Lib, Lab or true blue flavour. ‘Aha! A  Labour man,’ exclaims one red rosette handing me a Brown-branded paper hat to wear as a badge of allegiance. ‘Undecided,’ I say. ‘I only ordered the Prescott Punch on the basis that Prezza’s glamorous (in a sort of Dallas/ Dynasty way) missus, Pauline, is the only politician’s wife I’d fancy hanging out with.’ Meanwhile, seated on raked benches à la Palace of Westminster, fellow floaters watch the campaign unfold on the big screen (oh, the excitement!) and mull over the big issues debated on the floor. Trident? Immigration? The budget deficit? Er, no: tonight’s topic is ‘should Marmite be banned?’ As promised, waffles are also served. Waffle? Politics? As if to illustrate the point, Ken Livingstone - a man who could waffle on for weeks - suddenly puts in an appearance. 

65 Broadwick St W1www.jellymongers.co.uk