Piano, Smithfield

Hoping to replicate the success of his effervescent piano bar on High Street Kensington, irrepressible crooner/ ivory tinkler Bazz Norton (the son Judy Garland and Liberace never had) has taken over what was previously Smithfield cabaret lounge Rouge. Rouge is the (inherited) colour in a dive that looks like somewhere Christine Keeler might have partied in her 1962 pre-Profumo Affair heyday. Listen to standards from back in the day mixed with more modern material played jazz hands-stylee until 2am at weekends (closed - Sundays). High-spirited, friendly and inclusive, even the biggest Glee-hating grouch is likely to be sucked in. With no cover charge to bump up prices, Piano is also an affordable night out: wine starts at £20.95 for Chilean sauvignon. But put on the Ritz and break open the Laurent Perrier (£62.50) as on The Night They Invented Champagne - one of the show tunes you’re likely to hear. If the Lady Is A Tramp and Krug Grande Année (£270) is your poison darling, let’s hope your pal Joey is picking up the tab. 

14 Long Lane EC1A 9PN 7796 9777 http://www.pianosmithfield.com
(Booking essential.) from my original review  at www.squaremeal.co.uk

Piano, Soho (CLOSED see BAR TITANIA)

These Chinatown premises have seen off a succession of swish cocktail lounges and even swishier gay bars including Geisha, an ill-fated short-lived oriental cocktail lounge aimed at older chaps looking for a bit of Gok, as far as I could tell when I visited. But Kensington's High Street's original Piano's second fiddle seems to be hitting the right notes with a theatrical crowd drawn to its effervescent brand of camp show tunes at the old joanna. Say Hello Dolly to cocktails from £9.50. White lady, Moscow mule, Singapore sling and sidecar are suitably retro rinses for roisterous rat pack singalongs. Owner Bazz Norton is a jazz pianist and ex-cruise ship crooner whose bona sense of humour belongs in a 1960s smut-com featuring Sid James and Hattie Jacques - Carry On Tinkling, perhaps.  Hence, ‘Pianist Envy’ and champagne cocktail, Piano Pick-me-up - an open invitation to a skint chorus boy on the make? A limited selection of wines from £4.50 and champagne from £8.50 a glass are available but eats are restricted to crisps and nuts, unless you pre-order buffet bites for parties of 10 or more. Punters range from elfin boys to a fabulous dame I took to be Ethel Merman until I was informed the curtain had finally fallen on her act. Taking her old hit if My Friends Could See Me Now to extremes, maybe the old trouper had herself stuffed to be wheeled around town by adoring fans? The idiosyncratic Piano is a fun night out in a jazz hands/ John Barrowman kind of way. Prepare to make new friends meet fellow closet Judy Garland fans and razzle dazzle 'em.

75 Charing Cross Road WC2H 0NE 7287 7699 www.pianosoho.com 

Upstairs at Rules, Covent Garden

The Charles - a brandy and sweet vermouth-based number I've enjoyed in numerous drinking dens -  is a prince among cocktails. In honour of our future king, I'd like to see them served in cheeky tiki Toby jugs with china lugs for handles.  At Establishment fixture, Rules which has been serving superior scran and liquid libations to Charlie's sort for over two hundred years, the drink is presented in exquisite antique frosted stemware. But the doctored hooch it contains comes as a surprise: the house recipe here calls for Tanqueray 10, absinthe, maraschino and grapefruit bitters. On balance; I prefer the new-look old boy.  London’s oldest surviving restaurant, Rules was established around the same time Marie-Antoinette - on whose pert protuberances traditional champagne coupes are modeled - was giving head for France. I can't vouch for France's current chatelaine Carla, but Garland, Gable and most of Hollywood have dined here. Their great loss was not to know its cocktail lounge for, despite the antique pose - all red plush, dark wood, Disraeli and heroically overwrought Balmoral baronial - it only opened in 2008. Overseen by patrician Boston shaker Brian Silva (see footnote) - a ringer for Ted Kennedy, only still breathing - it’s a honey. Ted/ Brian pooh-poohs fancy schmanzy molecular mixology for the classics, executed with élan and attention to detail - the unwaxed rind of a lemon fresh picked and flown in from Sicily, (in its own private jet, i imagine). With matador-like precision, he sizes up his prey before administering the coup de grâce - in my case, a stunning Sazerac built on Pappy Van Winkle 13-year-old. Bull’s-eye! Hola, Death In The Afternoon - well, 11pm-ish as far as I can recall. For Hemingway's favourite, the daiquiri, or pretty much anything else worth swallowing, Brian is your boy at this quasi-secret hideaway in Covent Garden.

UPDATE: Spring 2013. Brian Silva, now at Balthazar, has been replaced by capable Chris Lacey and both the room and his cocktails - such as remain a 'RECOMMEND'


Rule’s, 35 Maiden Lane, WC2.  7836 5314