Casita, Shoreditch

This  box of a bar - about the same size as a suburban semi's garage and barely big enough for Kaka and ten of his team mates to squeeze into -  looks like it belongs in the ramshackle shanty towns that encircle the cities in the land of Pele . Abuzz with chatter and SOB - that's sounds of Brazil as any SOB from Sao Paulo will tell you - its beer crates, stacked high, are  filled with Quilmes, Cristal and other bottles. There's Sagres on tap and a selection of Latin American wines too. The decor - favela chic, to borrow from another nearby bar’s name - is as studiedly casual as any Brazilian beach bum in a pair of Havaianas flip-flops, so park your uptown attitude at the front door!  Small is not only beautiful but also friendly; enthusiastic owner William knocks out excellent £7 caipirinhas, mojitos, batidas, margaritas, fruity daiquiris, Kismet and other deceptively potent smoothies from all points south of Surinam. What the hell goes into Casita's Swine Flu cocktail? No idea, but it sounds catchy.  
5 A Ravey St EC2 7729 7230

Hola! This is  not what i had in mind when I said 'Rio'

Attic, Docklands

London’s highest bar (beating the City’s Vertigo 42 by a whole six floors) is in a residential tower that is a stone's throw from Canary Wharf.  Run by the Greenwich based Inc group and nominally reserved for the building's residents, Austin Powers wannabe swankers who fancy a swingin' private penthouse pad can access it by pre-booking. The bar accepts parties of up to four from Thursday to Saturday evening inclusive. The effort is rewarded with the sort of  jet marble, chrome and leathery luxe lounge that would have wowed me circa 1992. Did I mention the panoramic views?  Sadly, that ain't Manhattan twinkling below. it's Docklands. Home to thousands of slick suits - and none of them with much taste if they're prepared to live in hellish glass and steel monstrosities that look like rejects from dismal Dubai - the architecture outside is more Haribo pick'n'mix  than Candy brothers.  How come old Charlie Jug Ears Windsor never piped up about this particular carbuncle? Let's see? Because it isn't in K&C and one's Roller is rarely called upon to venture beyond the Limehouse Link?  Obviously you’ll drink champagne (from £45) and cocktails such as Rusty Nail and Penthouse, what else? (a Russian Standard and raspberry mule - £8.50). Beers (Bud, Old Speckled Hen) - not exactly Gordon Gekko - cost around a fiver, wines from £17.50. It’s swish in a kinda Donald Trump way -blingy, glitzy, spendy, well-upholstered - but would you want to be on top of it? Oh and step outside onto its small balcony and your wig'll blow off. Wouldn't worry the Donald, obviously.  

48th Floor, 3 Pan Peninsula Sq. E14 8858 2437

Marvel, Chelsea (NOW CLOSED)

At new Chelsea hole-up, Marvel, my neighbours’ conversation includes this revealing snippet: Blonde A, ‘yah, but I’ve got to do Easter with Ludo’s parents at their chalet in Switzerland.’ Identikit blonde B, ‘no way, that's sooo f****** s***, yah? Totaaaaal Klosters-phobia!’ This, then, is the sort of dilemma that exercises the trust fund twigs-in-Uggs  - aka Twuggs - on that recession-proof strip of Fulham Road known as ‘ the beach’.  Formerly Bartique, Marvel is the lovechild of quartet of well-connected blades-around-town that includes DJ Sam Young - son of super-paparazzo, Richard - who spins at Amex Centurion-magnet boîtes such as Boujis and Bungalow 8 when he’s not DJ’ing for Donatella Versace or Justin Timberlake. An entrée to the ‘if-it’s-May-it-must-be-the-Monaco-grand-prix’ lifestyle is yours for the surprisingly democratic price of a Barista - a generous £6.50 cocktail of vodka, coffee, vanilla and ice cream. Otherwise trade up to Zei Zei, a Beefeater 24, sweet and sour martini that rocks at £8.50. Marvel’s soundtrack screams ‘Ibiza’, or given the up-market clientele, a house party in way classier Formentera. The room - with its pop art mural and louche ‘private’ den attached - is dark and conspiratorially clubby yet refreshingly un-cliquey; a relief to anyone whose concept of après-Ski is what to eat next after a strawberry yogurt, yah?     

196- 198 Fulham Rd SW10 7351 1711 

http://www.marvellondon.com/

Barre Noire, Marylebone

If you're headed to nearby Locanda Locatelli , or should you otherwise inexplicably find yourself at Marble Arch, the oddly named Barre - as in French for helm, rod, witness box, or anything but ‘bar’ - is worth a detour for as good a cocktail as you’ll find in the vicinity. A clichéd, Noughties-style, ‘noir’ oval lounge dominated by a resinous back-lit bar/ barre plays host to groups of dazed and confused (as opposed to Dazed and Confused ) middle age Japanese salarymen, sons of The Emirates (as in Gucci-clad Arabs, not Arsenal players) and bored business people wishing they were anywhere else except stuck listening to fat Fritz from Freibourg droning on about the Geneva office while the perch uncomfortably on a squidgy leather cube north of Oxfordstrasse. The overall effect feels like cocktail hour inside a hollow Easter egg. Drinks acquit themselves - a Manhattan, perfect at £9.50 - and sweetly efficient staff know their onions enough to apologise for a lack of same when we order an off-menu Gibson. The suggested alternative, a Tanqueray Ten dry martini served with a twist, comes with a bowl of nuts and wasabi peas that is diligently replenished throughout our stay.
The Montcalm Hotel Nikko, 34 Gt Cumberland St. W1 7402 4288




www.montcalm.co.uk

The Rose, Fulham

What was once the less-than-tip-top Fulham Tup is on the up and hopefully, not a trace of local tabloid titillating tosser Terry. Re-branded, revamped & reinvigorated under new management, it’s crying out to be discovered by well-heeled locals - note to Chelsea FC, money can't buy you class - and shoppers checking out the antiques of the lower end of Kings Road - that's furniture, not Vivienne Westwood What they'll find just off the main drag is a relaxed, deliberately antiquated affair that’s almost Georgian in its woody austerity. Global grazing takes centre stage on the menu: rillettes with cornichons, crab on toast, moules marinière, aubergine & sweet potato curry, chilli tiger prawn with noodles, pannacotta & berries are typical dishes that leave change from £10. A dozen wines (from £3.50 a glass) include a plump Languedoc Viognier at £21, while an elegant Margaux is the priciest bin at £32.50 – a trio of Champagnes excepted. Enjoy a pint of draught Sharp's Doom Bar in the walled garden when this Rose blossoms fully come the spring.
1 Harwood Terrace, SW6 7731 1832




www.therosefulham.com/

Akbar, Soho

A major fire in 2009 nearly did for the Red Fort but thanks to the efforts of the London Fire Brigade, the upmarket Indian is now back in business after a complete refurb. In March 2010, what's firing its punters is the outcome of the too-close-to-call looming general election. True to their colours, New Labour siblings, the Millibands -aka Dedward -  have been spotted at the (New) Red Fort as have their boss's missus and the Rev Jesse Jackson. What they got in its destination DJ cocktail cellar, now tricked out in kingfisher blue with a metallic mosaic bar, were reasonably-priced quaffs such as Gemali (a Mandarine Napoléon and date-infused rum champagne cocktail). For that all-important photo op, a (red) Khoony Mary- a twist on the Bloody version using Absolut Peppar vodka and chilli-infused balsamic vinegar - is what to go for. As well as Kingfisher beer and wine from £6, champagne socialists can tuck into nibbles that include battered king prawn, spinach cheese and fenugreek patties and roasted spiced kingfish - just  don't tell notorious trougher, Prezza.


77 Dean St W1 7437 2525
www.redfort.co.uk

GRAZIA Feature - ARE YOU SHRINKING?..............Shrinking : that's shopping and drinking. How do you measure up?

Shrinking : that's shopping and drinking.
How do you measure up?