Simmons, Camden

Simmons is the sort of late-night bar I occasionally fall into when I've been slung out of somewhere else - whether that's down to its early closing or to my bad behaviour.  Fans of the original wee King’s Cross original will dig Son of Simmons in NW1. Here's a similarly dippy den done out in 50s kitsch under a skull mirrorball that, if it were a genuine Damien Hirst, could buy several houses hereabouts and still leave loose change for the bar's affordable signature drinks. Better still, on 3pm - 9pm happy 'hour', cocktails are just £10 for 2, so jump in for jamble, bramble and doctored ‘tea’ in china pots, or go pot luck and let the bar’s one-armed bandit randomly decide your next drink. A winning line of 7-7-7 scores a jackpot fishbowl - but Malibu Chambord and Coke? I’ll stick with your French martini when I pop in to pretox next time I'm about to enjoy Guilty Pleasures, Sean Rowley's retrotastic disco party at what used to be the Camden Palace. And as for any cocktail called 'tastes like Elliot' (the bar's owner) and advertised as 'this could possibly be the best drink you’ll ever have. We’ve literally had people licking out Elliot, er I mean their teacup with this one,' I should ahem, KOKO!
 7 Camden High Street NW1 7JE 7383 5595 http://www.simmonsbar.co.uk/

#R3D Market, Shoreditch and Camden Beach, Camden

If the July heatwave decides to head back our way, there’s still time to catch some rays at two of this year's cool crop of summer pop-ups. Set in a disused lot in Shoreditch, the sun will finally set on #R3D Market on 16th August. Until then, it's open on Thursday and Friday evenings when DJs and live music, strawberry and prosecco cocktails and rum lychee and Ting are the ting. Slinging good grub to grab, there's Mark Hix’s FishDog, Burger Bear and Mei Mei’s Street Cart. For Slim Shady, sofas under a giant awning are where to shelter from the sun (or the rain).  Meanwhile, over in NW1, if you can’t afford the crazy cost of a high season villa on Ibiza or, cooler still, Formentera; there's the Costa del Camden by way of a stay-cation. Its palm-fringed sandy beach comes with cabanas, deckchairs and crowds only otherwise experienced at a free fishbowl and foam party in Faliraki. The entertainment here runs to retro arcade games, ping pong and free live gigs on Fridays. Drink Pusser’s rum punch and 2-4-1 cocktails weekdays from 5pm -7 pm from its tiki bar and feed your face fish and chips, burgers, wings, ices and candy floss  Come 24th August, that's your lot as this lot is cleared and your Mum whips you off to be kitted out, to your undying embarrassment, in a grim grey uniform from George at Asda as the school bell beckons.

#R3D Market:  5 - 7 Rivington Street EC2A 3DT http://www.redgallerylondon.com

Camden Beach: Roundhouse Chalk Farm Road NW1 8EH 0844 482 8008 www.roundhouse.org.uk

Shebeen, Kentish Town

Shebeens were clandestine drinking premises where illicit whiskey was flogged to cloth capped Paddys in the Emerald Isle of yore. From there, the phenomenon spread first to Scotland, then to the USA and South Africa. Populated by loose-limbed, dope-head West Indians (and their white English posh girl admirers), shebeens became a fixture of Notting Hill in the 1950s. Fast forward 60-odd years and a legal tribute to the species has turned up in London NW5, the latest addition to this popular local Brit/Med bistro. In a downstairs dive that looks like a cross between a 20s speakeasy and a 70s Northern working man’s club, pimped hooch includes a range of classic cocktails at £6.50 (or 241 on 5.30 pm - 7.30 pm happy hour each night). Pile into the ‘snug’ ‘nook’ or ‘cranny’ - former police holding cells - and try Singapore Sling, Elderberry Collins, Mai Tai English Julep and Dark and Stormy - the dark rum and ginger beer mule popularised by Jamaicans in London circa The Profumo Affair (Christine Keeler and Lucky Gordon hung out in a shebeen that is now the venue for Tom Conran's Chamucos Clubhouse in Westbourne Park). Authentic Irish poitin - once banned due to its high alcoholic content - adds a frisson of excitement and there's beer from local lads, Camden Town Brewery. 

Kentish Canteen 300 Kentish Town Rd NW5 2TG 7485 7331 http://kentishcanteen.co.uk

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Shaka Zulu, Camden

You have to admire this new South African-themed pile for its pluck. Hopefully, springing somewhere the size of Lesotho on London, at a time when the bush tom-tom talks of enforced austerity, won’t end, like the Boer War, in defeat for Shaka’s Zulu nation. To bingo bongo beats, we navigate our way to the lounge bar at this ‘unique’ (that’s, for sure) and ‘classy’ (if you say so!) gastroplex that must be seen- once will do - to be believed. Wall-to-wall tribal carvings; ethnic prints; statuesque warriors a go-go:  this overwrought subterranean kingdom feels more Sun City than Camden. Short of Justin and Colin doing  the window displays for Loincloths-R-Us  to coincide with Gay Pride, Johannesburg, could it look more camp/ crap? Forget beads and trinkets here, the intrepid  explorer will need to part with nine and half of your English pounds to sample the Shaka shakers’ finest efforts. Pick of the ‘Zulu cocktails’ is angel face (African Mishale brandy, fig, lemon and apple juice), (Ketel) dawa, a native of Nairobi & vodka and kumquat thirst quencher, sufrica. Closer to home there's Orkney dig. What archaeology on rainswept islands off the north coast of Scotland has to do with Durban is anybody’s guess. Ten by the glass wines include Kloovenburg merlot at £7.50 while Namibia’s Windhoek spearheads the beer selection. In similarly ‘classy’ bars in Cape Town, £10 will get you three Bellinis. If this one lasts, I'll eat my vuvuzela:  but then that's pretty much what I said about the similarly bonkers Gilgamesh next door, so what do I know?.   

The Stables Market, Camden High St NW1 3376 9911 www.shaka-zulu.com/